Proverbs 22:1
In the last few weeks, we have experienced the loss of several residents here at Westminster-Thurber. Loss is not uncommon because of the nature of our facilities, but it still often takes us by surprise. After attending memorial services, I began thinking about what I would like someone to say about me in a eulogy, which prompted this sermon.
What we hear at a funeral or memorial service should give us something to consider as we listen.
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Ben just came to town as a new rabbi. Unfortunately, his first official duty was to conduct a funeral service for Albert, a man who died in his eighties, with few relatives. Since Ben didn’t know the deceased personally, he paused from his sermon to ask if anyone in the congregation would say something good about Albert. There was no response. Ben asked again: “Many of you have known Albert for years; surely someone can say something nice.” After an uncomfortable pause, a voice from the back of the room said, “Well, his brother was worse.”
That is not what we would like to hear said about us!
If you died tomorrow, what would people say about you?
Would you be proud of how you lived and the choices you made?
If someone looks back on your life years from now, what will they remember about you?
None of us will probably have our names in future history books; what will likely happen is that we will be remembered by those whose lives we’ve touched.
There’s an old saying,
“If you want to know how to live your life, think about what you’d like people to say about you after you die … and live backward.”
The idea is that we earn our eulogy by our everyday actions.
What would you do if told you had ten years to live? Would it change your life? Of course, it would. But what would you do with those ten years? Would you:
- Go wild, lose control, and do anything you want without conscience?
- Sulk and have a big pity party?
- Sit around feeling sorry for yourself in depression?
- Drink and eat more than is reasonable?
We are a product of what we have already been and done in our lifetime. If we did little with our life, we would probably do more of the same – only intensified. We would likely continue the same habits; if we lived a life of substance; we would work at being the best we could be.
We would smell the roses, waste less time on things that have no meaning, value our friendships more, and work harder at things that count and have meaning in our lives.
Our love for those vital to our lives would grow even more. We would start seeing more positivity and less negativity in this world.
We would care more about those in need and help those we can. We would not want to waste a single day and appreciate each day for what it is – a miracle. Would we stop learning and growing as a person? I don’t think so. We will continue to do the same as we are now, but only with the awareness that time is short.
One area that does seem to change for people in this situation is their spiritual life. Most of us don’t want to give much thought to the dreaded ‘life after death.’ If told the end is near, we will naturally think about it. Gaining a sense of oneness with our Creator certainly is a comfort. Maybe it’s the most important thing anyone can do in this situation [or any situation]. There is no lasting peace and comfort with money, achievements, titles, hobbies, or endless TV.
In his book, When Everything You Ever Wanted Isn’t Enough, Harold Kushner writes:
“Our souls are not hungry for fame, comfort, wealth, or power. Our souls are hungry for meaning, for we have figured out how to live so that our lives matter so the world will be at least a little different for our having passed through it.”
So what would you do?
- Live to be remembered for the important things.
- Live to be remembered for giving up your rights and your possessions for the benefit of others.
- Live for acts of kindness that lighten the load of hurting and weary people.
‘At the end of the day, people won’t remember what you said or did, but they will remember how you made them feel.’
There’s a lot of truth in the paraphrased quote from Maya Angelou. You can probably remember your childhood, neighbors, classmates, or teachers who made you feel good, and others who did not feel great.
But the focus today is not on others; it’s on you. How are you making other people feel as you navigate your daily life? Do you cause those you encounter to feel better about themselves and the world around them? Or are you giving off a vibe that is, at best, neutral or even a little negative?
People want to be remembered for different reasons:
- Some people wish to leave a lasting legacy.
- Others may want to know how they make others feel and how those around them treat them.
- Others want to be remembered for being selfless, caring, compassionate, kind, loving, patient, and understanding.
Ultimately, people remember others depending on their actions, character, and impact on others.
How do you want to be remembered?
We hear in Proverbs 22:1:
“A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold.”
We all agree it would be nice if those we encountered felt better about crossing our path. If we could
“…reach the hearts of others and give them something that will broaden and enrich their lives. The desire that every person be open and alive to higher inspirations and filled with beauty and truth so splendid that it elevates their soul.”[1]
Well, that sounds like a lot, you might think. I want others to feel better and elevate the people I encounter. But elevate their souls? How does that work?
There is a simple guide to follow, one you can start using right now. It consists of three keywords, all with an action we can take daily with each person we encounter. They are:
- Recognize
- Encourage
- Praise
- Recognize those you know and don’t with eye contact, a warm smile, and, when appropriate, a “hello” or friendly greeting. Chat with anyone with the time to engage with you and, most importantly, listen to them. From that point, you can take the next step and add encouragement or praise to the mix.
- Encourage those who need a kind word, who appear to be having a rough day, and anyone needing uplifting. Do something as simple as a “keep up the good work” to a gardener, a heartfelt word for an overworked waitress, or silently wishing all you encounter happiness.
- Praise those doing something/anything of value, even complimenting the barista at the coffee shop or commenting positively on a coworker’s fashion choice.[2]
Each of us walks through life engaged in our ‘ministry.’ Our ministry encompasses “how we live our lives” and “how we handle situations, our values and ideals, goals, and the way we strive to attain them.” Most importantly, our ministry revolves around “how we treat others.”
I encourage you today to lend a smile or a kind word to someone; you may be pleasantly surprised by the response. You don’t need a reason to be kind. Allow God’s love to shine through you and be a path of righteousness for others.
Let us pray:
Dear Lord, You are the ultimate example of goodness, and we want to be more like you. Give us the courage to share kindness with a world that is so much in need of your love. Allow goodness to flow through us so we bless others because of Christ in us. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Delivered at Ohio Living Westminster Terrace and Thurber Tower, Columbus, OH; 11 February 2024
[1] Tom Rapas, Wake Up Call
[2] John Templeton, Worldwide Laws of Life, 200 Eternal Spiritual Principles
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