Healthy congregations are diverse congregations

The Episcopal Church prides itself in the acceptance of all people – those of diverse cultures, ethnicity, race, gender identity, sexual identity, and abilities. This allows congregations that share the wonderful uniqueness of each person, celebrate their varied differences, and promote stronger and richer missions through their shared ideas. Each culture brings with it an approach to worship that enriches the corporate celebration of the sacraments.

Christianity, at its best, is an all-embracing tradition, taking all that is good and true and beautiful in the world, bringing it together to give it a home. In so doing, it is able to appreciate a wide variety of practices, spiritualities, theologies, philosophies, and cultural adaptations. Of course, there are elements which transcend differences, such as the sacraments which bring us into the Church: baptism, chrismation, the eucharist, clerical orders, marriage and anointing may be celebrated in a variety of unique ways, but the central core is still in the celebration.

With diversity, however, comes many challenges. There are established cultural ‘norms’ that discourage some members of the congregation from being open to new ideas. There are social and racial biases so ingrained that some congregants don’t even realize they have them. Every person comes with his or her own customs, manner of dress, music and liturgy preferences, and political views. Saint Paul encountered this in his ministry; each city he proselyted was different, with difference mores, cultures and social guidelines. These differences created a messy church – just like ours today.

A major hindrance to creating a unity within a diverse church is the tendency of human beings to cling to ‘their own kind’, even if they live, work, and worship in multi-cultural neighborhoods. It is more ‘comfortable’ to be among people just like one’s self, rather than ‘stretch’ to acknowledge and come to understand customs and behaviors that are unfamiliar or different.

Even within the church, many people accept the concept of diversity until activities become culturally uncomfortable to them – then they want to go back to ‘how we have always done it’, discounting the possibility that new ways or approaches might even be more enriching, or open their minds and spirits to God in fresh and exciting ways. Styles of music become a serious impediment to solidifying a congregation – there are those who refuse to acknowledge any worth in contemporary Christian or non-piano/organ music. Many cultures worship in a participatory manner during the service, especially during the sermon. To those who could be labelled the ‘frozen chosen’ (sitting silently during the sermon), this is an anathema!

No matter the number of sermons preached on embracing those who are not like us, social and cultural norms reinforce that concept that ‘that’s okay for other people, but not for my church’. Past schisms in The Episcopal Church demonstrate evidence of how rigidly some beliefs are held.

Today’s church is no different from the early church, where Saint Paul preached:

There are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are differences of ministries, but the same Lord. And there are diversities of activities, but it is the same God who works all in all. But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to each one for the profit of all (1 Corinthians 12:4-6)

One of the best ways we can achieve true unity in diversity is to move from speech to action, by actually celebrating diversity in our churches. It takes a concerted effort by all members of the congregations; but it can be rewarding, inspiring, and joyful!

First, we must come to understand some core obstacles that may keep us from unity:

1. Pride in one’s identity must make room for embracing the identity of others. Racial, political and educational characteristics are at the core of our ego and self-identity. If we pridefully cling to our differences as the core of ‘who we are’ and ‘what is right’, we are unable to embrace the identities of those ‘not like us’ – often resulting in bigotry and judgment, rather than loving and sincere interest in others. Realizing that much more unites human beings than divides them, is essential to unity.
2. Openness to doing things in new ways must supplant the discomfort of not doing things ‘my way’.
3. We must meet changes and new ideas with patience, genuine interest, and honest responses rather than anger and apathy. We should always care what happens in our church, and if we do not agree with it, gently and earnestly express our opinions, remembering that someone may cherish what we disdain – compromise can always be found among truly united people!
4. Forgiveness for perceived hurts and misunderstandings, rather than holding grudges, is essential for moving forward to a united church. We must help one another look at past slights and offenses in order to forgive, and put such incidents in the past.
5. A sense of ‘ethnic-awareness’ and appreciation must replace ‘color-blindness’ for true unity. We are not ‘all the same’, but we are all wonderful products of God’s creative imagination!

We pray daily that God’s Kingdom will come ‘on earth as it is in Heaven’. Our churches should be the best example of what that Kingdom should look like! Blind conformity, rote ritual, token motions of mission and outreach, power plays, and denominational pride are not found in God’s Kingdom – nor is disregard for the feelings and needs of each individual. The Kingdom of Heaven must be heralded by a church that is intentionally loving across ethnic, racial, and gender differences. Churches that are struggling together to love and care for those in need, will declare and model the Good News of Jesus in all they do.
 
 

written for Connections, Diocese of Southern Ohio, 30 November 2017

A Terrorist is a Terrorist – No Matter WHO It Is!

We are all reeling from yet another atrocity – the massacre at the First Baptist Church in Sutherland, Texas. The fact that someone chose to mow down people worshipping on a Sunday is an anathema of all this country professes to be. Unfortunately, we live in a world that is sadly marked by increasing violence and terrorism. It seems like very few days go by, if any at all, without some horrible act of terror or random violence. It has become such a ‘normal’ occurrence that some in the country hardly react any longer. There is surely something wrong in our society when the solution to a problem or reaction to anger is to not only kill the offender, but also massacre innocence people in the process.

But equally disturbing to me is that whenever there is a terror attack, the natural impulse is to blame a Muslim or ISIS. Are we so influenced by the national attitude that we can’t wait to immediately attach the nomer ‘Islam’ or ‘ISIS’ to the word ‘terrorist’? Perhaps it is easier to accept that a foreign element is responsible for our mounting atrocities than to accept the perpetrator may be the person next door, but clearly that is not so.

It is human nature to seek scapegoats for the causes of evil – it is far easier to look upon the things that come from without than the things from within. That chosen scapegoat suffices only until another deadly attack happens; then we repeat the blaming (mental health, access to guns, foreign agents).

If you look at the last six massacres, each one was perpetrated by a home-grown, All-American citizen – not some foreign boogey man. They may have had mental health issues, but they grew up and lived as a citizen of the United States. We are reluctant to admit that ‘we’ have spawned this monster.

We do not call their actions ‘terrorism’ . . . but terrorism is terrorism. . . – no matter who the person is. Whether they have a mental problem or are seeking revenge for a perceived slight, when one kills and maims dozens of innocent people, they are still ‘terrorists’. And until we accept that their actions are not solely, ‘mental health issues’, or ‘gun control issues’, but ‘acts of terror’, it will be nearly impossible to address these actions.

Living among us as law-abiding and patriotic Americans are thousands of Muslims. In a knee-jerk reaction, to continually label them as a group as being the cause each time we have an incidence of terror in our midst, is unfair, unjust, and weakens our ability to address the real causes behind the terrorist’s act.

We, as Christians, need to begin to address the causes of terrorism. We need to provide services for those who feel they have been a victim of injustice. And we need to be a strident, but loving voice against those who spout hatred against those who are not ‘like us’, whether ethnic, racial, gender, or religious. If we begin to ‘love one another as we love ourselves’, maybe we can begin to change the world.

We can pray this will be so – and put our prayers into action.
 

written for The Crossroads, Saint John’s Episcopal Church in Worthington & Parts Adjacent, OH; 12 November 2017

The Tragedy . . . and Hope Of ‘#MeTOO’

I have been horrified by the thousands of women (and men) who have posted ‘#MeTOO’ on Facebook recently in response to the egregious sexual misconduct of Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein. Every status I have read has filled me with both thankfulness and grief. I am thankful for the courage and the bravery of those who have shared their stories. I am grieved that the prevalence of sexual assault and harassment is still so widespread and still so unacknowledged, and that it has taken thousands of voices on social media revealing their personal pain publicly to convince the world of the extent of this problem. Bolstered by centuries of patriarchal dominance over women, powerful and thoughtless men have heaped sexual harassment and abuse on women because they could. In more recent decades, as women have gained success in career fields previously closed to them, they have been accosted by sexual predators at every turn. Now, sad and horrifying stories abound on Facebook and elsewhere – told by women of all ages and walks of life –  about assault and abuse, not only in the entertainment field, but in business, government, academia, and the church as well. Male authority have taken tawdry advantage of women in exchange for using their influence or workplace position to assist those women in ‘breaking the glass ceiling’. “Locker room talk” has been accepted with a wink and a nudge, and predatory behavior against women has been a young man’s ‘rite of passage’ for far too long. We can only wonder how many more women are carrying these terrible stories around, afraid to tell them. We hear stories from friends and strangers, stories of pain, abuse, assault and harassment; we can no longer say that we did not know or ‘that is just the way things are’. “#MeTOO’ demands a response from all of us.

Unfortunately, for Christians and many other faith groups, their respective holy books are ready sources for the misguided belief that women are possessions, and do not deserve a place in society equal to men. From the beginning of recorded history, women (and female children) have generally been counted in the tribes as part of the chattel. Their purpose was to keep the home, procreate, care for children and, primarily, be in the background, much like a slave or indentured servant. What we now consider inappropriate and even abusive sexual behavior was sanctioned within the culture and tribal system.

For too long, men have participated in and benefited from a culture that allows, profits from, and ultimately, rewards abusing women. And, more to the point, men HAVE and ARE doing this. Even words spoken lightly with the intent of a compliment have frequently had the effect of placing women in compromising positions. Male silence when they have seen a woman objectified… their failure to use their dominant power to create safe spaces with clear expectations about consent in touch, conversation and action … is inexcusable. Although women assuming more and more positions in society will help to eradicate their sexual abuse and assault, there is an important role that men must assume in correcting this long-standing problem.

It is the responsibility of women everywhere to stand up, no matter difficult that may be, and say ‘enough!’ A problem cannot be rectified if there is not a clear definition of the root cause. Announcing ‘#MeTOO’ on social media does not solve the problem – but it is having a significant purpose:

1. to raise the awareness of the general population that their mothers and sisters and daughters and even grandmothers have been subjected to demeaning misogyny;
2. to affirm and strengthen those who have suffered in silence because of fear of reprisal, or guilt, or a feeling that ‘they were the only ones’.

Many harassed women who felt alone have now found the strength to add their voice to the ‘#MeTOO’ campaign.  And there also are many men who have realized their actions were inappropriately demeaning and have posted their objection to such words and actions, along with heartfelt support for their female friends and family.

However, raising awareness is NOT going to eradicate the problem. It is the responsibility of both men and women, mothers and fathers, all citizens of our country, to take action. Women and girls should be taught, reminded, and urged to call up short any who harass or abuse them; parents, families, and society MUST make a strong statement that this is no longer permissible or acceptable behavior.

Sexual harassment is not about sex – it is about POWER. . .  the power men hold over women and children in this society. It is time for women to speak up and demand respect and equal power in the workplace and society. It is time for little boys and girls to be taught to respect one another as equals. Just as we teach children about inappropriate touching, we need to teach them not to accept inappropriate words.

We like to think of the church as a refuge from the brokenness and sinfulness of the world. We like to think that, within the Christian community, we are kinder to each other, that we are better at “doing unto others.” But the truth is: we are not immune. The sound of ‘#MeTOO’ echoes within the walls of the church. Every female clergy I know has experienced at least one incidence of sexual harassment. Victims are sitting in our pews, our classrooms, and our church offices. Too often, neither a Christian community, gender, age, marital status, nor pastoral authority has protected us.

The church must take responsibility for their culpability in the acceptance of this behavior as a social norm. It is time for faith communities to oppose every form of sexism toward women. We must create an environment where there is zero tolerance for harassment, abuse and violence. We must remind our communities that Jesus preached we are to ‘love each other as brothers and sisters’. Our churches should be seen as safe havens, where we treat one another with compassion and respect. These should be places where no one has to worry about being harassed, demeaned, assaulted.

We should all feel sick and sad over the continuing stories of women suffering verbal and physical assaults. Today it’s in the spotlight, and that’s important. But as fast as news comes to our attention, it becomes ‘old news’, and we move on to the next thing. My fear is that ‘#MeTOO’ will fade away as another topic takes its place – that all the discussion and identification of the types of harassment and its impact will become a shadow in the mind, and we will go back to the ‘same old, same old’. Men and women must continue to speak out; and the church must lead the way in creating new norms of social behavior.

We in The Episcopal Church and Saint John’s can exercise leadership in our communities to increase fair treatment, respect, and love in all aspects of our communal life.

How can we do this?

• By shifting from masculine-only and patriarchal language in conversations and services to non-gender inclusive language;
• By making our young people aware of their important role in creating new and kinder social norms of behavior between genders in all phases of their lives;
• By ensuring that our worship, formation, and activities do nothing to reinforce disrespect of any person or group;
• By supporting gender parity and mutual respect of all persons in our civic life (government, schools, organizations, entertainment);
• By raising awareness of problems of misogyny wherever they are found;
• By confirming and affirming those who speak out.

That is my hope – that true and lasting good may come from this ‘#MeTOO’ campaign. That following the courage of younger generations, we can stand up, speak out, and make the church and our world a better place for ALL of us.
 
 

Written in response to the ‘#MeTOO’ campaign after disclosure of sexual harassment by Harvey Weinstein and other prominent men, 1 November 2017