May the meditations of my heart and the words of my mouth be acceptable to you, my Lord, my rock and Redeemer (Psalm 19:14)
Today’s gospel reading is one of the best-known Eastertide gospels – that of “Doubting Thomas”. We almost never hear the name of this disciple without the label of “Doubting”. Most people, no matter how non-religious, have heard about “Doubting Thomas”.
You may be interested to know that in the first three gospels we are told absolutely nothing at all about Thomas. He is just a name in a list of the disciples (Mark 3:18, Matthew 10:3, Luke 6:15), a faceless man among the twelve. It is in John’s Gospel that he emerges as a distinct personality, but even then there are only 155 words about him. Retired Episcopal Bishop John Shelby Spong believes that the writer of John created Thomas as a metaphor for those who are always ‘doubting’ or questioning. “Doubting Thomas” has become the vocabulary of the world for people who doubt or question the status quo – they are often called “Doubting Thomas”.[1]
The first time Jesus appeared to the disciples, Thomas was not there; he was being “Brave Thomas” – brave because he was not hiding in an upper room. Not cringing at every sound, hiding in the darkness so no one would know he was there.
If you think about the last fourteen months of the COVID pandemic, you can understand why the disciples were hiding. We have social isolation, racial injustice, gun violence, and political strife. And though we are a resurrection people, we are also a people in pain. The world around us is still wounded, and the scars we’re carrying from this past year will likely last a long time.
We find the other ten disciples cowering in a room, afraid to come out. The doors were shut and locked; the drapes were drawn, the windows were closed and the disciples were full of fear and despair. They had just seen their Lord and Master crucified on a cross and buried. Then on the third day His body disappeared from the tomb.
Although the angels at the tomb tried to reassure them, they were still afraid.
Thomas was not in the room with the others – we don’t know where he was, but I imagine he was out among the people, buying food for those hiding in the room. Being ‘brave’ because he could have been identified as a follower of Jesus, which could have led to his death. Out in the world, trying to accept that Jesus was gone, and not quite ready to admit that he has risen from the dead. But surely, he was despairing – the one in whom he had put all his faith was dead. Yet, today we should be glad for his doubt, for we, like Thomas, did not see Jesus appear resurrected, and our doubt is much like his.
The second time Jesus appears to the disciples, Thomas was there and Jesus admonished him:
“Stop doubting and believe” (John 20:27)
Jesus told Thomas to believe and accept His resurrection as true – to have ‘faith’.
What then is this ‘faith’ we are supposed to have?
Faith is a ‘complete trust or confidence in someone or something’. It is, from a religious standpoint, a strong belief in God or doctrines based on spiritual awareness, rather than proof. Jesus goes on to tell Thomas:
“blessed are those who believe and have not seen”. (John 20:29)
In fact, not only Christians, but all human beings, really, live every day by faith.
- We go to sleep assuming by faith that we will wake up.
- We kiss our loved ones goodbye, having faith that we will see them again.
- We drive to the grocery store with the faith that we will return home safely with our groceries.
- We plant our gardens in the fall with faith that they will blossom in the spring.
And most crucially, we live every day knowing at some point that we will die, and that somehow it will be alright.
But we cannot prove that, nor can we understand what really happens when we die. These are all elements of ‘having faith’.
But does faith mean we do not doubt?
No!
Faith does not eliminate doubt. Most people, if they are honest with themselves, will admit that they are troubled from time to time with doubts about whether what they’ve been taught is true. Even saintly Mother Teresa wrote of her doubts in her diaries, saying:
“[But] as for me, the silence and the emptiness is so great, that I look and do not see
– Listen and do not hear
–the tongue moves [in prayer] but does not speak ”
Even this holy woman had doubts, yet her faith was strong.
Doubt is defined as: ‘a feeling of uncertainty or lack of conviction; a hesitancy to believe; not being certain about something, especially about how good or true it is.’
I submit to you that being a “Doubting Thomas” and questioning life is not a bad thing. We should do it. When we ask ourselves difficult questions, we get answers that can deepen our faith and provide us with the tools we need to live a more purposeful life and have a closer relationship with God.
Indeed, we can learn a valuable lesson from Thomas: We must doubt and then move beyond doubt into faith. It is all right to doubt, but we must move beyond doubt.
Jesus told Thomas that those
“who believe even if they have not seen are blessed. (John 29:29)
We are those blessed people!
But, we, like Thomas, can still be filled with doubt!
So, what if we find ourselves with serious doubts.
What should we do?
When we doubt, we begin to examine our lives to determine what is true, what is right, what is good for us. That is the human process – it leads to a better understanding of ourselves, our world, and our relationship with eternity. And each one of us must travel that journey at our own pace and in our own time.
So, is there a real purpose for doubt in our Christian faith? ABSOLUTELY!
Doubt is what enables our faith to grow. Today’s gospel passage tells us this. In the beginning of the text Jesus had appeared to the disciples and they believed. They had to share it with others.
Thomas was not in the room when Jesus first appeared to the disciples, and when he heard what happened, he did not believe what they were saying. Thomas had little faith in what the disciples were saying because it was, frankly, unbelievable, and he needed more proof. Jesus was dead – he had seen him brutally tortured and murdered, he saw his lifeless body buried in a tomb.
When Jesus appeared to the disciples a second time, however, Thomas was there and “brave” enough to say for all to hear,
“Unless I see the nail marks in his hands, and place my finger where the nails were, and place my hand in his side, I will not believe.” (John 20:25)
Did Jesus chastise Thomas for his unbelief? No! He understood the reason for his doubts and said:
“Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.” (John 20:27)
And Thomas believed!
Doubting Thomas was very much like each of us, wanting to believe and still unsure that Jesus had actually risen. He wanted to see the scars and touch them to reassure himself that it was really true – Jesus was alive and had overcome death. Just as Thomas doubted, we feel compelled by our doubts to see for ourselves. Just as Thomas wanted tangible proof, we, in our complex and cruel world, need to be reassured that what Jesus promised us is true – that life is eternal – that to live as He did, to follow His example of love, compassion, service, and forgiveness – this leads us to true life, here on earth and beyond – and that where He is eternally, there we will be also.
Like “Brave Thomas”, we all must be brave and seek, experience, meditate, and question until we come to understanding, through confidence in the word of Jesus, that
He is true,
His promise is true,
and we can believe in Him with all our hearts and minds.
Let us pray:
Almighty and ever living God, who strengthened your apostle Thomas with sure and certain faith in your Son’s resurrection: grant us the faith to truly and deeply believe in Jesus Christ, that our faith may never be found doubting. Empower us to be carriers of that faith to others. Give us the ability to share it so others can know the grace of your salvation, your gracious gift of Jesus, in whose name we pray. Amen.
[1] Rt Rev John Shelby Spong, The Fourth Gospel: Tales of a Jewish Mystic, HarperOne, 2014
Delivered at Saint John’s Episcopal Church; Columbus, OH, 11 April 2021
deni doulos 