How Will You Be Remembered?

Proverbs 22:1

In the last few weeks, we have experienced the loss of several residents here at Westminster-Thurber. Loss is not uncommon because of the nature of our facilities, but it still often takes us by surprise. After attending memorial services, I began thinking about what I would like someone to say about me in a eulogy, which prompted this sermon.

What we hear at a funeral or memorial service should give us something to consider as we listen.

****

Ben just came to town as a new rabbi. Unfortunately, his first official duty was to conduct a funeral service for Albert, a man who died in his eighties, with few relatives. Since Ben didn’t know the deceased personally, he paused from his sermon to ask if anyone in the congregation would say something good about Albert. There was no response. Ben asked again: “Many of you have known Albert for years; surely someone can say something nice.” After an uncomfortable pause, a voice from the back of the room said, “Well, his brother was worse.”

That is not what we would like to hear said about us!

If you died tomorrow, what would people say about you?

Would you be proud of how you lived and the choices you made?

If someone looks back on your life years from now, what will they remember about you?

None of us will probably have our names in future history books; what will likely happen is that we will be remembered by those whose lives we’ve touched.

There’s an old saying,

“If you want to know how to live your life, think about what you’d like people to say about you after you die … and live backward.”

The idea is that we earn our eulogy by our everyday actions.

What would you do if told you had ten years to live? Would it change your life? Of course, it would. But what would you do with those ten years? Would you:

• Go wild, lose control, and do anything you want without conscience?
• Sulk and have a big pity party?
• Sit around feeling sorry for yourself in depression?
• Drink and eat more than is reasonable?

We are a product of what we have already been and done in our lifetime. If we did little with our life, we would probably do more of the same – only intensified. We would likely continue the same habits; if we lived a life of substance; we would work at being the best we could be.

We would smell the roses, waste less time on things that have no meaning, value our friendships more, and work harder at things that count and have meaning in our lives.

Our love for those vital to our lives would grow even more. We would start seeing more positivity and less negativity in this world.

We would care more about those in need and help those we can. We would not want to waste a single day and appreciate each day for what it is – a miracle. Would we stop learning and growing as a person? I don’t think so. We will continue to do the same as we are now, but only with the awareness that time is short.

One area that does seem to change for people in this situation is their spiritual life. Most of us don’t want to give much thought to the dreaded ‘life after death.’ If told the end is near, we will naturally think about it. Gaining a sense of oneness with our Creator certainly is a comfort. Maybe it’s the most important thing anyone can do in this situation [or any situation]. There is no lasting peace and comfort with money, achievements, titles, hobbies, or endless TV.

In his book, When Everything You Ever Wanted Isn’t Enough, Harold Kushner writes:

“Our souls are not hungry for fame, comfort, wealth, or power. Our souls are hungry for meaning, for we have figured out how to live so that our lives matter so the world will be at least a little different for our having passed through it.”

So what would you do?

• Live to be remembered for the important things.
• Live to be remembered for giving up your rights and your possessions for the benefit of others.
• Live for acts of kindness that lighten the load of hurting and weary people.

‘At the end of the day, people won’t remember what you said or did, but they will remember how you made them feel.’

There’s a lot of truth in the paraphrased quote from Maya Angelou. You can probably remember your childhood, neighbors, classmates, or teachers who made you feel good, and others who did not feel great.

But the focus today is not on others; it’s on you. How are you making other people feel as you navigate your daily life? Do you cause those you encounter to feel better about themselves and the world around them? Or are you giving off a vibe that is, at best, neutral or even a little negative?

People want to be remembered for different reasons:

1. Some people wish to leave a lasting legacy.
2. Others may want to know how they make others feel and how those around them treat them.
3. Others want to be remembered for being selfless, caring, compassionate, kind, loving, patient, and understanding.

Ultimately, people remember others depending on their actions, character, and impact on others.

How do you want to be remembered?

We hear in Proverbs 22:1:

“A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold.”

We all agree it would be nice if those we encountered felt better about crossing our path. If we could

“…reach the hearts of others and give them something that will broaden and enrich their lives. The desire that every person be open and alive to higher inspirations and filled with beauty and truth so splendid that it elevates their soul.”[1]

Well, that sounds like a lot, you might think. I want others to feel better and elevate the people I encounter. But elevate their souls? How does that work?

There is a simple guide to follow, one you can start using right now. It consists of three keywords, all with an action we can take daily with each person we encounter. They are:

• Recognize
• Encourage
• Praise
  
  
• Recognize those you know and don’t with eye contact, a warm smile, and, when appropriate, a “hello” or friendly greeting. Chat with anyone with the time to engage with you and, most importantly, listen to them. From that point, you can take the next step and add encouragement or praise to the mix.
  
  
• Encourage those who need a kind word, who appear to be having a rough day, and anyone needing uplifting. Do something as simple as a “keep up the good work” to a gardener, a heartfelt word for an overworked waitress, or silently wishing all you encounter happiness.
  
  
• Praise those doing something/anything of value, even complimenting the barista at the coffee shop or commenting positively on a coworker’s fashion choice.[2]

Each of us walks through life engaged in our ‘ministry.’ Our ministry encompasses “how we live our lives” and “how we handle situations, our values and ideals, goals, and the way we strive to attain them.” Most importantly, our ministry revolves around “how we treat others.”

I encourage you today to lend a smile or a kind word to someone; you may be pleasantly surprised by the response. You don’t need a reason to be kind. Allow God’s love to shine through you and be a path of righteousness for others.

Let us pray:

Dear Lord, You are the ultimate example of goodness, and we want to be more like you. Give us the courage to share kindness with a world that is so much in need of your love. Allow goodness to flow through us so we bless others because of Christ in us. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

 

 Delivered at Ohio Living Westminster Terrace and Thurber Tower, Columbus, OH; 11 February 2024

---

[1]      Tom Rapas, Wake Up Call

[2]      John Templeton, Worldwide Laws of Life, 200 Eternal Spiritual Principles

The Election . . . and Then THIS!

Luke 21:5-19

“Joy to the world! No more election news coverage and political ads!” (Well, almost)

Maybe that isn’t the good news you were expecting to hear this morning, but isn’t it a relief to have a break from all the tv ads, telephone calls, texts, and emails? I don’t know about you, but the election process has left me feeling worn down and beaten. If nothing else, it has shown us that there is more division in this country than we might have realized and that we need to get better at listening to one another instead of talking at each other. I think we saw the results of something growing in our country for at least 15-20 years, maybe even longer.

Watching the reaction of people on Wednesday morning, I saw people who felt like the outcome of this election was ‘the end,’ or at least the beginning of the end, and people who were confident that all their greatest hopes and dreams were suddenly and magically realized.

This week, I’ve struggled with how we, as a community of faith, can come together and heal. Some of us are very excited; the candidate of their choice won, and are happy – we want to celebrate. Others are disappointed that their candidate lost; they want to mourn, are afraid, and aren’t feeling very celebratory.

Then, we come to this reading from Luke:

“Wars and revolutions, nation against nation, kingdom against kingdom, earthquakes, famines, and pestilence … betrayal, hatred…” (Luke 21:10-11).

This is such a doggy downer! I want to throw my hands in the air. But when I stop worrying about how to navigate the post-election emotions with you, I realize that this passage in Luke comes just when we need it.

Luke 21:5-19 is a passage we’d all rather not hear. We want Jesus to say something else; a different set of predictions and promises. We want Jesus to say,

“Don’t worry about trials and persecutions, for I shall deliver you from them before they happen.”

We want Jesus to say,

“The world will be so impressed by the church, its accomplishments, and proclamations that they won’t dare harm you.”

We want the ecclesiastical equivalent of “Homeland Security” that will protect our borders from evildoers and offer us protection in the future. Instead, Jesus tells us we will suffer from the world’s hatred of us because of Him. But He will remain with us when it does.

As a deacon, I am challenged to try to help us all navigate through these experiences, and to recognize that God is active in everything that is going on today. God is present in the midst of fear and disappointment, as well as exuberance and joy. How can we all find hope together?

For those who preach, it isn’t hard to imagine a more challenging message. Deep down, we worry that if we preach this bluntly and boldly, some folks will leave our congregations to join up with those clappy-happy folks up the street who promise the theology of prosperity. Christians like “possibility thinking,” and by “possibility,” they most assuredly do not mean the possibility of getting persecuted to death!

This passage is an example of apocalyptic literature at its best: descriptions of wars, natural disasters, persecution, imprisonment, and even death.

But it’s not about the end of the world.

The word “apocalyptic” doesn’t refer to “end times” as we often think it does. It means revelation, specifically, God revealing himself to us directly and personally.

This scripture is not a passage about the end of the world. But we would like to know the ending. We want a timetable. And the disciples were like us; they wanted answers. So it isn’t surprising that when Jesus starts talking about the way things will be “at the end of the Age,” his disciples, and we, want to know

“When? How will we know? What will be the sign that these things are about to take place?”

So, on this Sunday after Tuesday, where do we go from here? I don’t think there are any easy answers. But as Christians, we have one calling above all others, to follow Jesus, so that’s where we begin. Look at how Jesus conducted himself throughout his ministry. He was building relationships with people. He was lifting the marginalized, eating with the tax collector, healing the sick, and forgiving the sinner. He was teaching great crowds of people, feeding the hungry, and sitting at dinner with the outcast. He was building relationships with people, and those people were building relationships with God. So what remains when it seems that our security has been stripped away? –

community,

relationships –

with God

and one another.

And it is these relationships that we, too, must strive for today and every day. Using the magnificent Temple of Solomon as an example, Jesus foretold its destruction – an indication that things would radically change – just as they did after His crucifixion.

We are told we will suffer as a follower of Jesus.

Your parents, brothers, relatives, and friends will even betray you. They will kill some of you. Everyone will hate you because of my name (Luke 21:16-18)

there is no ‘land of milk and honey’ here.

The times were so terrible that even within families, the unity of the family broke down. It seems especially cruel, but parents will be betraying children, or children betraying parents, brothers, and sisters. This was a time of terrible turmoil in the community; it was a time when they needed to be uplifted, encouraged, and reminded that, yes, Jesus had been with them.

Jesus said to them and us,

“Do not be afraid.”

Jesus tells us not to be afraid 365 times in his teachings. He wanted us to believe this, and in Him.

Jesus is with us, we can have confidence and, in fact, remind ourselves

“I will be with you all days, even until the end of the world.”

In this time of division and divisiveness, our relationship with God must be our highest priority, and we must love others and build relationships with our fellow humans. When we put our highest allegiance to our idols of policy, party, or President, relationships break down.

God will always protect us; but there will be terrible suffering. Each of us has a choice to either stand firm and follow Jesus or turn away. But there is a consolation:

not a hair of your head will be lost. By your endurance, you gain eternal life. (Luke 21:19)

God is with us and will bring us through to a new life. That’s the promise.

Through our endurance, we will gain our lives. We need to renew our sense of being witnesses, being in the presence of, and achieving the peace and fullness of life that is the promise of Jesus.

So, we are faced with what may seem to be an impossible decision:

• Follow Jesus and suffer, maybe even lose our lives
• Go about our daily routine and possibly never get to the Kingdom

But Jesus says in the gospel,

“No one knows,”

when the end times come. We’re not to act as though it is imminent. We must go on living, following the teachings of Jesus, and feel assured that God will protect us.

Let us pray:

Dear God, remind us that in the challenges and struggles of the day, there are always opportunities to speak good words and do good things and thereby witness to our faith. Help me to ground my life in what endures: faith, hope, and love. Heal us with the warmth of your Love. Grant me compassion for all those struggling to live through catastrophic times, and remind us that you will be with us to help us to do just that. Amen

      Delivered at Saint John’s Episcopal Church, Columbus, OH; 13 November 2022

Jesus Conquered Death

Matthew 28:1-10

Today is the night of the Easter Vigil – an ‘in-between’ time during the Easter Triduum – the three most holy days between Maundy Thursday and Easter Sunday. Horrible things had happened with Jesus’ death and the joy found in Jesus’ resurrection had not yet occurred.

The disciples were mourning, they didn’t know what to do, they had not understood the coming resurrection; instead they were sequestered in a little room afraid to come out, fearful that they may be killed, isolated as a pariahs from society (much like we are now). They thought they had seen their dream of eternal life dashed with Jesus’ death.

We can imagine how the disciples felt. They were in their ‘in-between time’: between the crucifixion of Jesus on Good Friday and His resurrection on Easter morning. They had suffered in pain while Jesus was betrayed, arrested, tried, convicted, and hung on the cross on Good Friday. Like the veil of the temple, their world was torn apart at the moment of His death.

We also are existing an ‘in-between time’ – the time between when we started ‘sheltering-in-place’ during a worldwide pandemic and whenever that time comes when we are allowed to safely enter back into society without the fear of disease and death. We are all anxious about when that is going to be, and have no doubt about the joy we will feel when we will be able to have personal contact with others.

Probably, the most unnerving thing in all our lives is the fear of death – we don’t what is going to happen. It is a fear that we will go into ‘nothingness’, a big black hole. What we are now and will become will disappear like dust in the wind.

We dream about what it will be like Heaven, where we meet with our friends and family who have gone before us. A place where we will suffer no pain, have no disabilities, have no reason for weeping and mourning.

Fear of death is a morbid, abnormal or persistent fear of one’s own death or the process of dying; a “feeling of dread, apprehension or anxiety when one thinks of the process of dying, or ceasing to ‘be’”.^[1] It’s a fear that some how we will die before we have reached our hopes and dreams. . . that we will leave things unfinished. It can be irrational and often debilitating, keeping us from achieving our hopes and dreams.

But by Jesus’ crucifixion and resurrection He conquered the most fearful thing of all –

DEATH.

We have been promised by Jesus:

And after I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to myself, so that you will be where I am. (John 14:3)

Death can no longer hold us in constant fear!

Jesus came as a messenger from God – in fact HE was God made man. He came to tell us that God loves us – that life and death are NOT the whole story. The cross of suffering is bare, the tomb is empty.

The rest of the story is eternity – one message:

Like Jesus, we came from God

and will return to God.

God is with us each day of our lives, living in us and in the love of those we see.

As we find ourselves sheltered right now, we have the courage to stay in this place and invite Christ to meet us there. If you know anyone who is dealing with pain, disappointment, or loss—share hope with them – ask them how they’re doing – listen to them – be with them – pray for them. And when the time is right, point them toward the resurrected Jesus. Because life has a way of killing dreams, but Jesus has a way of bringing them,

and us,

back to life!

We are all part of God’s love, God’s eternity and we have nothing to fear – this is the message of Easter – indeed the most joyous season of all.

Let us love one another as He has loved us – and continues to love us throughout eternity.

Phillip Brook wrote his “Easter Carol” reminding us that death is no longer:

Tomb, You shall not hold Him longer,
Death is strong, but life is stronger
Stronger than the dark, the light;
Stronger than the wrong, the right
Faith and hope triumphant say;
Christ will rise on Easter Day.

While the patient earth lies waiting
Till the morning shall be breaking
Shuddering beneath the burden dread
Of her Master, cold and dead,
Hark! she hears the angels say;
Christ will rise on Easter Day.

And when sunrise smites the mountains
Pouring light from heavenly fountains
Then the earth blooms out to greet
>Once again the blessed feet;
And her countless voices say;
Christ has risen on Easter Day. [2]

Jesus Christ is the death of Death! 

Let me say this again:

Jesus Christ is the

Death

of

Death! 

Let us move through this ‘in-between time’ with confidence that through Jesus’ resurrection we will be assured of eternal life.

Let us rejoice and be glad!

Amen.

 
[1]      Farley G.: Death anxiety. National Health Service UK. 2010, found in: Peters L, Cant R, Payne S, O’Connor M, McDermott F, Hood K, Morphet J, Shimoinaba K. (2013).
[2]       Phillips Brook, “The Easter Carol”, Christmas Songs and Easter Carols, (New York: E. P. Dutton & Co., 1903)
 

Delivered at Saint Stephen’s Episcopal Church & University Center, Columbus, OH; 11 April 2020

The Final Enemy, DEATH, Is No More!

Matthew 28:1-10

If life has a way of killing dreams, Christ’s resurrection has a way of bringing them back to life.

Life has a way of killing dreams, doesn’t it? You set out with high hopes – for your schooling, your career, your family, and your golden years. You have plans, aspirations, and expectations. But things don’t always turn out the way you expected. Plans fall through. People let you down. You let yourself down. Suddenly the life you’re living isn’t the life you dreamed of at all; or you find yourself in a place you never expected to be.

But we can have hope.

Hope.  

What is hope, anyway? Wishful thinking? Naive optimism? “Hope it doesn’t rain,” we say. “Hope the sermon doesn’t go too long.” (That is wishful thinking!) Emily Dickinson tells us:

“Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul – and sings the tunes without the words – and never stops at all”.[1]

The dictionary tells us that hope is “a desire with the expectation of fulfillment.” So hope begins with a desire for something good, but then adds the element of expectation, of confidence. Without expectation, it’s just a wish. And wishes tend not to come true. When we hope for something, we’re counting on it.

But hope is more than a word – without it, we die. When a team loses hope, the game is over. When a patient loses hope, death is crouching at the door.

Viktor Frankl, an Austrian neurologist, survived years in the Nazi concentration camps. He noticed that prisoners died just after Christmas. They were hoping they’d be free by then. When they weren’t, they gave up. He learned that as long as prisoners had something to live for, a reason to press on, they could endure just about anything. But once they lost hope, they quickly died. Fyodor Dostoevsky said that “to live without hope is to cease to live.”

Bobby Knight has a different take on it. Bobby Knight is the legendary basketball coach who led the Indiana Hoosiers to three NCAA tournament finals; he was also famous for throwing chairs and chewing out officials, players, fans, and anyone in the vicinity. According to Bobby Knight, “hope” is the worst word in the English language. He says it’s foolish and lazy to tell yourself that “things are going to be all right.” They will only be all right if somebody steps up and does something.

Hope needs a reason. Something, or someone, that can get us to a better place. Without a reason, hope is just wishful thinking.

But for us, ‘hope is a who; hope is not a what, or a when, or a why. Hope is a “who.” Things don’t get better just because we want them to. They get better because somebody does something. Hope is always embodied in a person. Hope is a ‘who.” Somebody wise enough, strong enough, good enough, to get us to a better place.

And Jesus Christ is that someone. His resurrection proves that he is stronger than any setback, any failure, any loss, any disappointment – any fears. If life has a way of killing dreams, Jesus has a way of bringing them back to life.

That’s not to say we always get what we want, or that every bad thing can magically be un-done. Life doesn’t work that way. But it is to say that God can and will do something good with our future. Hope is the confidence that God can and will do something good. Hope is the confidence that God can and will do something good – in this life, and the life to come. Wherever you find yourself in this morning, whatever pain, loss, or disappointment you may be dealing with, God can do something good with it, or in it. That doesn’t minimize the pain or loss or evil of it. It simply means the story isn’t over yet.

In this life, we can find joy, beauty, forgiveness, healing, purpose, restoration, and the reality of God’s presence in our lives every day. In the life to come, we can look forward to reunion with those we have lost, the restoration of all creation, and to eternal life with God and one another in worlds beyond our imagining.

Hope isn’t wishful thinking – it’s confident living. It’s facing the future knowing that God can and will do something good, in this life, and the life to come.

Probably, the most unnerving thing in all our lives is the fear of death – we don’t what is going to happen, It is a fear that we will go into “nothingness’, a big black hole. What we are now and will become will disappear like dust in the wind.

We hope that it will be like Heaven, where we meet with our friends and family who have gone before us. That we will suffer no pain, have no disabilities, have no reason for weeping and mourning.

Fear of death is a morbid, abnormal or persistent fear of one’s own death or the process of dying; a “feeling of dread, apprehension or anxiety when one thinks of the process of dying, or ceasing to “be”.[2]

It’s a fear that somehow we will die before we have reached our hopes and dreams. . . that we will leave things unfinished. It can be irrational and often debilitating, keeping us from achieving our hopes and dreams.

But by Jesus” crucifixion and resurrection He conquered the most fearful thing of all – DEATH.

We have been promised by Jesus:

And after I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to myself, so that you will be where I am. (John 14:3)

Death can no longer hold us in constant fear!

If you should find yourself in a tough place right now, have the courage to stay in that place and invite Christ to meet you there. If you know who’s dealing with pain, disappointment, or loss – share hope with them. Ask them how they’re doing. Listen to them. Be with them. Pray for them. And when the time is right, point them toward the resurrected Jesus. Because life has a way of killing dreams, but Jesus has a way of bringing them,

and us,

back to life!

Phillip Brook wrote his “Easter Carol” reminding us that death is no longer:

Tomb, You shall not hold Him longer,
Death is strong, but life is stronger
Stronger than the dark, the light;
Stronger than the wrong, the right;
Faith and hope triumphant say;
Christ will rise on Easter Day.

While the patient earth lies waiting
Till the morning shall be breaking
Shuddering beneath the burden dread
Of her Master, cold and dead,
Hark! she hears the angels say;
Christ will rise on Easter Day.

And when sunrise smites the mountains
Pouring light from heavenly fountains
Then the earth blooms out to greet
Once again the blessed feet;
And her countless voices say;
Christ has risen on Easter Day.”.[3]

Jesus Christ is the death of Death!

Let us rejoice and be glad!

Amen
 
 
[1] Emily Dickinson, “Hope is the thing with feathers”, The Poems of Emily Dickinson, Edited by R. W. Franklin (Harvard University Press, 1999)
[2] Farley G.: Death anxiety. National Health Service UK. 2010, found in: Peters L, Cant R, Payne S, O’Connor M, McDermott F, Hood K, Morphet J, Shimoinaba K. (2013).
[3] Phillips Brook, “The Easter Carol”, Christmas Songs and Easter Carols (New York: E. P. Dutton & Co., 1903)

Delivered at In The Garden, Trinity Episcopal Church on Capitol Square, Columbus, OH; 16 April 2017

Death Does NOT Win

Luke 7:11-17

The scriptures we heard today tell sad and remarkably similar stories – of a widow losing her son to death; and of the prophet Elijah, and later, Jesus restoring these two sons back to life.

To Biblical scholars, this is seen as one of many attempts to depict Jesus as a fulfillment of ancient scriptural prophecies – as the ‘new Elijah’ or the Messiah, foretold in the ancient Torah.

For New Testament scholars, the raising of the son of the widow of Nain takes its place with the two other stories of Jesus restoring life to those taken by death. In Matthew 9:18-26, Jesus returned Jairus’ daughter to the living. A president of the local Galilean synagogue, Jairus probably felt threatened by teachings and works of Jesus, but nevertheless, faced by Jesus’ powerful presence, asked his daughter be restored to life. Jesus felt compassion for this father and immediately went to his house and restored the life of the little girl. In an even more famous story told in John 11:1-44, Lazarus, brother of Mary and Martha and Jesus beloved friend, was raised from the dead by Jesus before a large and awestruck crowd.

There are many levels upon which we can learn from these stories: theologically, culturally, and individually. One could expound for hours on their implications – indeed, countless books have been written that do so– but, today, let me examine a few.

The woman of Nain is referred to as a ‘widow’. Not only was this poor woman mourning the death of her only son, but she now was all alone in a society that did not have provisions for the care of widows. There was no one left to care for her in her old age; no welfare or assistance available for widows like her. It was up to a woman’s children, especially her sons, to see that she was cared for. But, she has no one left! She is all alone, helpless and caught in a desperate situation. She has nothing to look forward to except poverty and despair. She is at the mercy of others people’s kindness. She has nowhere to go and nowhere to turn. She finds herself trapped in a helpless condition. Widows were the lowliest of the lowly.

As Jesus looked upon this woman, He saw that all her hope was gone, a woman who not only was having to grieve without family at the death of her son, but also being judged by her own society and people. Jesus told her not to weep because He was about to turn her tears into celebration at the return of her son.

In each of these stories, Jesus speaks to the person – He speaks and life emerges where there was death. This is just one of the examples of His works and teachings that turned the world upside down, countering everything that man thought they knew and believed; that, in fact, the least can be the greatest, the lowliest are indeed powerful, the sick and suffering can find wellness and healing, the poor and outcast can find hope and acceptance.

Conversely, Jesus taught us that many of the things for which we strive: power, wealth, possessions, knowledge, titles and accolades are fleeting, finite, and mutable.

These stories also teach us that Jesus and His ‘way’, the thinking and life values that He taught and represented, also turn the world upside down. That our deep and paralyzing fear of death, drives us to hurtful behaviors that generate greed, arrogance, vengeance, pride, envy and judgment.

Yes, in reality and on a daily basis, we are afraid. Motivated by our fear of death, we strive to make our mark on our earthly life, because we fear ‘that this is all there is’. We fear one of the harsh truths of life:

death is still death.

One day, you will die.

YOU will die. I will die.

Our friends and our family, our neighbors – everybody you know will die.

They are all going to die. Sooner or later.

It doesn’t matter how clever we are,

It doesn’t matter how wealthy we are,

It doesn’t matter how many important people we know… everybody dies.

Death is a painful reality of life.

But Jesus assures us

“For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day.” (John 6:40)

He also lovingly scolds us:

“My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? (John 14:2)

These are the promise God gives every human being, and God proved that promise in the life, death and resurrection of his Son, our brother, Jesus Christ.

Paul reminds us

“don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.  If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection.” (Romans 6:3-5)

This is the life-transforming and world-changing message of these biblical stories we have heard today, and of the life of Jesus. That in following in His way, His values, and living by His examples, we will grow to understand and truly believe, to the core of our being, that

DEATH IS NOT THE END!

That Jesus is indeed, ‘God from God, Light from Light, True God from True God’;

• if we follow His way, embrace the values of love, inclusion, forgiveness, and service that He taught;
• if we live our lives on earth with humility, compassion, mercy and hope,

we will gain the reassuring understanding that death is only a door to new life.

Because He lived as we have lived,

and died as we must,

that we shall live again as He does.

Whether the end of our lives is by crucifixion, torture, war, cancer, body-crippling diseases, accidents, or old age

DEATH IS NOT THE END!

This is the life-giving hope, this is why we can be joyful and fear no more.

We are free.

This is the good news that we must tell to everyone.

Alleluia!

 

Delivered at Saint John’s Worthington Episcopal Church, Worthington, OH; 5 June 2016

 

For Caregivers And Those Who Grieve: How To Handle The Holidays

Missing Someone Over The ‘Happy Holidays’?

The commercials for the holidays started early (some of the stores already had their Christmas trees up in August), and now is the time that those of you who have suffered a loss are beginning to experience ‘Holiday blues’. Whether you’ve experienced a divorce, the end of a friendship, or the loss of a loved one, the holidays can make the loss of that person even more painful. Instead of feeling jolly, one may assume a pasted smile accompanied often with sadness and depression. Those that have never experienced these ‘holiday blues’ don’t understand; those that have, know that it can be terribly debilitating. Whether the loss happened years ago or recently, the hurt is there, and in unexpected and startling ways. You see or hear something that reminds you of your loved one and the pain is there all over again. It’s normal to mourn even years later, especially during the holidays when it can be extra painful. Friends and family may think that they are helping with suggestions like:

“Oh, just come on out, you will feel better!”,

or

“It’s been so long ago, can’t you just move on?”

and for those who’ve have experienced a death,

They’re in a better place!”

it doesn’t heal the pain and often times intensifies the loss. But don’t fault those who are trying to ‘help’; they don’t know what to do and really care about you and the painful time you are having. Know that, in some cases, they are experiencing the loss as well as you are, although not as intensely. However, although you can never go back to ‘the way things were’, you can find ways to heal or minimize the pain. Each person is different and must find their healing in different ways. It may take years, but you can begin now and find your way. It doesn’t mean that the pain won’t come back, or the sadness will evaporate – but we each can choose our attitude. We each choose our mood. We each choose to take steps forward (or backwards), even if tiny ones.
 
 
How to Celebrate when Missing Someone

Do Something Positive: When you start feeling sad, do something that brings you joy or at least pleasure; see a movie, take a walk, play some music. Do something that makes you feel good.
 
 
Practice ‘Random Acts Of Kindness’: When we help others, we get outside ourselves and focus on the needs of someone else. We may see them smile, it makes us feel good too. There are numerous ways to do this! 

Pay for the order of the car behind you at a drive-in or in a restaurant. 

Put change in an expired parking meter. 

Bake cookies and give them to a neighbor, your doctor’s office, co-workers, the church, etc. 

Clean out your closet and donate clothes you won’t wear to a worthy cause. 

Volunteer at an animal shelter or nursing home. 

Shovel a neighbor’s walk, take their paper to the door, carry their trashcan back from the curb or rake their leaves. 

Take someone you haven’t seen for months to lunch to ‘catch up’.

 
 
Create a New Tradition: Whether your loss, it is the emptiness and memories that bring the pain. Often we think that the pain we encounter by keeping old traditions is worth it, but in the end we are the ones that suffer. Create a new tradition – whether it is the food, the decorations or even the location the festivities are held. Change or add to the festivities with new traditions.
 
 
Don’t Ignore the Pain: By ignoring it, you are only allowing it to sabotage you at unexpected times. It’s okay to admit that you aren’t okay. So plan a time during the holidays to fully remember and mourn those you have lost. Look at scrapbooks, read old letters or favorite poems. Write a journal entry about what they have meant to you and how they affected your life, visit old places that you shared together. Talk to someone about your loss, toast them together or alone, cry, remember – missing lost loved ones during the holidays is natural and it is important to communicate your emotions instead of avoiding them. This is where that healing comes.

In this sort of catharsis there can be real healing that makes a space for you to move on with joyous holidays.

The Final Enemy – Death – Is No More!

If life has a way of killing dreams, Christ’s resurrection has a way of bringing them back to life.

Life has a way of killing dreams, doesn’t it? You set out with high hopes—for your schooling, your career, your family, and your golden years. You have plans, aspirations, and expectations. But things don’t always turn out the way you expected. Plans fall through. People let you down. You let yourself down. Suddenly the life you’re living isn’t the life you dreamed of at all; or you find yourself in a place you never expected to be.

But we can have hope.

Hope.

What is hope, anyway? Wishful thinking? Naïve optimism? “Hope it don’t rain,” we say. “ “Hope the sermon doesn’t go too long.” (That is wishful thinking!) Emily Dickinson tells us it’s “the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul”.

The dictionary tells us that hope is “a desire with the expectation of fulfillment.”

So hope begins with a desire for something good, but then adds the element of expectation, of confidence. Without expectation, it’s just a wish. And wishes tend not to come true. When we hope for something, we’re counting on it.

But hope is more than a word – without it, we die. When a team loses hope, the game is over. When a patient loses hope, death is crouching at the door.

Viktor Frankl survived years in the Nazi concentration camps. He noticed that prisoners died just after Christmas. They were hoping they’d be free by then. When they weren’t, they gave up. He learned that as long as prisoners had something to live for, a reason to press on, they could endure just about anything. But once they lost hope, they quickly died. Dostoevsky said that “to live without hope is to cease to live.”

Bobby Knight has a different take on it. Bobby Knight, of course, is the legendary basketball coach who led the Indiana Hoosiers to three NCAA tournament finals; he was also famous for throwing chairs and chewing out officials, players, fans, and anyone in the vicinity. According to Bobby Knight, “hope” is the worst word in the English language. He says it’s foolish and lazy to tell yourself that “things are going to be all right.” They’ll only be all right if somebody steps up and does something.

Hope needs a reason. Something, or someone, that can get us to a better place. Without a reason, hope is just wishful thinking.

But for us, ‘hope’ is a who; hope is not a what, or a when, or a why. Hope is a “who.” Things don’t get better just because we want them to. They get better because somebody does something. Hope is always embodied in a person. Hope is a “who.” Somebody wise enough, strong enough, good enough, to get us to a better place.

And Jesus Christ is that someone. His resurrection proves that he is stronger than any setback, any failure, any loss, any disappointment—any fears. If life has a way of killing dreams, Jesus has a way of bringing them back to life.

That’s not to say we always get what we want, or that every bad thing can magically be un-done. Life doesn’t work that way. But it is to say that God can and will do something good with our future. Hope is the confidence that God can and will do something good. Hope is the confidence that God can and will do something good—in this life, and the life to come. Wherever you find yourself in this morning, whatever pain, loss, or disappointment you may be dealing with, God can do something good with it, or in it. That doesn’t minimize the pain or loss or evil of it. It simply means the story isn’t over yet.

In this life, we can find joy, beauty, forgiveness, healing, purpose, restoration, and the reality of God’s presence in our lives every day. In the life to come, we can look forward to reunion with those we have lost, the restoration of all creation, and to eternal life with God and one another in worlds beyond our imagining.

Hope isn’t wishful thinking—it’s confident living. It’s facing the future knowing that God can and will do something good, in this life, and the life to come.

Probably, the most unnerving thing in all our lives is the fear of death – we don’t what is going to happen, It is a fear that we will go into ‘nothingness’, a big black hole. What we are now and will become will disappear like dust in the wind.

We hope that it will be like Heaven, where we meet with our friends and family who have gone before us. That we will suffer no pain, have no disabilities, have no reason for weeping and mourning.

Fear of death is a morbid, abnormal or persistent fear of one’s own death or the process of dying; a “feeling of dread, apprehension or anxiety when one thinks of the process of dying, or ceasing to ‘be’”.1

It’s a fear that somehow we will die before we have reached our hopes and dreams. . . that we will leave things unfinished. It can be irrational and often debilitating, keeping us from achieving our hopes and dreams.

But by Jesus’ crucifixion and resurrection He conquered the most fearful thing of all – DEATH.

We have been promised by Jesus:

And after I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to myself, so that you will be where I am. (John 14:3)

Death can no longer hold us in constant fear!

If you should find yourself in a tough place right now, have the courage to stay in that place and invite Christ to meet you there. If you know who’s dealing with pain, disappointment, or loss—share hope with them. Ask them how they’re doing. Listen to them. Be with them. Pray for them. And when the time is right, point them toward the resurrected Jesus. Because life has a way of killing dreams, but Jesus has a way of bringing them,

and us,

back to life!

Tomb, You shall not hold Him longer,
Death is strong, but life is stronger
Stronger than the dark, the light;
Stronger than the wrong, the right;
Faith and hope triumphant say; Christ will rise on Easter Day.
While the patient earth lies waiting
Till the morning shall be breaking
Shuddering beneath the burden dread
Of her Master, cold and dead,
Hark! she hears the angels say; Christ will rise on Easter Day.
And when sunrise smites the mountains
Pouring light from heavenly fountains
Then the earth blooms out to greet
Once again the blessed feet;
And her countless voices say; Christ has risen on Easter Day. (Phillips Brooks)

Jesus Christ is the death of Death!

Let us rejoice and be glad!

Amen

1 Farley G.: Death anxiety. National Health Service UK. 2010, found in: Peters L, Cant R, Payne S, O’Connor M, McDermott F, Hood K, Morphet J, Shimoinaba K. (2013).