Love Yourself

(Matthew 22:39)

‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ (Matthew 22:39)

“Love your neighbor as yourself” is a pretty radical command -that we think of our love and concern for humanity in the same way as we regard our love for ourselves.

In this day of wars, conflicts, and alienation, loving your neighbor is not easy to do. . . and those who do usually get vilified by the press and people around them. But Jesus tells us this is the second greatest commandment we should follow after loving God.

But I think the more radical commandment is in the second part of that verse:

“as yourself”.

This speaks of the other important – often overlooked type of love—self-love.

We all have an innate instinct for self-preservation. We all want to be happy. We all want to live satisfied with our lives. We all want:

• food
• clothes
• a place to live
• protection from violence
• meaningful or pleasant activities to fill our days.
• friends to like us and spend time with us.

We want our life to count for something. All this is self-love.

Self-love is the deep longing to minimize pain and increase happiness.

Everyone, without exception, has this human need for love. We spend much of our time waiting, hoping to be loved, searching and yearning for that special love, wanting someone to give us love and fill us up.

We feel empty and lost without it.

Unfortunately, that’s not usually how life works. You attract to you exactly what you send out into the world and what you believe you are worthy of. So, loving yourself can create love in your life.

No scripture in any holy book states that God created anyone undeserving of love. You will remember that God said,

‘And it was good’

at the end of creation. Jesus taught that every person has value to God. Self-love should naturally grow from knowing that we are all precious to Him.

But how do we love ourselves when the world says loving ourselves is selfish – not a good character trait?

1. Fall in love with yourself. Think about what makes you ‘You’. Love yourself for all the good you see and accept your flaws and the fact that you are imperfect. Look in the mirror and fall in love with the reflection that is You.

2. Be honest with yourself about how valuable you are. How you see and treat yourself is the same way others will see and treat you. Do you treat others with love? That’s the first step to feeling better about yourself.

3. Think about what you need. What specifically are you lacking? No one is more capable of loving you and giving you precisely what you need than you are!

4. Forgive yourself if you believe you aren’t worthy of love. No matter what you may have been told as a child or hear now,

It SIMPLY IS NOT TRUE.

Say to yourself

“I forgive myself for believing I am not worthy of love.”

Look in a mirror and say it out loud to yourself; look yourself right in the eyes and say it like you mean it.

5. Start sharing yourself with others. Everybody has something to share. Share your happiness, sadness, and, most importantly, your life. By sharing, you will start feeling better about yourself and start loving yourself.

6. Remember that love is not a feeling but a choice! Choose to love yourself, and love will come. The more loving you are to yourself, the more loving you will be able to be to everyone around you. Choose to love yourself and everyone important in your life.

And last but not least:

7. Hug yourself. Don’t worry what others think; it’s about how you feel about you. Try to accept yourself as fully as you can.

Loving yourself is not being self-centered or selfish. We must care for our body, mind, and soul as treasured possessions given to us by a God who loves us.

Let us pray:

Dear Lord, help us to accept ourselves just the way we are. Help us recognize that we are beloved creatures of your creation and deserve to be loved, honored, and cherished. Clean our minds of emotional poison and self-judgment to live in complete peace and love. Give us the power to unconditionally love ourselves, our family, and our friends. Today is a new beginning. Help us start our life over today with the power of self-love.

Amen.

       Delivered at Street Church, Saint John’s Episcopal Church, Columbus, OH; 29 Oct 2023